A deep dive into a devastating control mechanism

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Shane Devlin on Unsplash

Since narcissists see their children as nothing but an extension of themselves, they will do everything in their power to sabotage their development into independent adults. Anything that even remotely resembles a fully-functioning human being will be obstructed from an early age.

Because independence means their children’s eventual departure, and departure means loss of control, they will do everything in their power to stop that. They’d rather have their children develop a lifelong dependency than see them succeed on their own.

➤How narcissists perceive their children

The only time when narcissists would want to see their children succeed is if they were to gain direct benefit from it. It could be financial wealth, but would much rather prefer something that enhances their personal status, like power and influence. As said earlier, they don’t see their children as individual people, they see them as an extension of themselves. …

What Trump represents will not be gone any time soon

Image for post
Image for post
Image by Tibor Janosi Mozes from Pixabay

America’s voting and the world is watching. I can’t think of another election that raised eyebrows like the current campaign. An open exchange of blows from both sides, which didn’t go unnoticed — even here in Europe.

The Trump vs. Hillary campaign was huge, but the latest Trump vs. Biden is fiercer than anything we’ve ever seen before. America has a big entertainment industry, but this one is bigger than any blockbuster movie.

When Trump announced he would be running for president back in 2015, it was the first time I had heard of him since the 1980s. Yes, no joke, it’s that long ago. …

How losing the moment of inspiration can cost you dearly

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

What’s more painful for an artist than to lose a great idea? Just recently I saw a David Lynch interview where he said he always writes down his ideas immediately, because if he doesn’t, he loses them forever. But he seems to be a quick learner — he’s only lost a couple of ideas so far.

How much I still underestimate the power of inspiration. That thing that happens just out of the blue. …

A reaction to a response I got here on Medium

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Katrin Hauf on Unsplash

“This is the danger of giving unqualified people a platform [Medium] to say whatever they want, about whatever they want.”

When this response appeared under one of my articles, I couldn’t but wonder why some people fear reading about different viewpoints on a particular subject? They fear it to such an extent that they wish the article or writer were prohibited from talking about it. A stance like that can’t but make me think about totalitarian regimes where one may end up in solitary confinement for life for saying something that doesn’t align with the rulers’ “guidelines”.

To punish people for not reflecting someone’s particular belief system is what differentiates developed from undeveloped countries. If you look at the democracy index, you will see that there is a high correlation between wealth and democracy. Meaning that the better the democracy standards are, the better the overall prosperity of a country is. Especially fascinating when you look at countries that haven’t made their fortunes from natural resources, but mostly through the inventiveness of their citizens. …


Internet shopping has turned into a nightmare

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

I don’t know about you guys, but shopping for home appliances, be it a vacuum, computer, or UPS system has turned into a nightmare for me. Every time a device dies — more or less unexpectedly — I just blow up. And it’s not a money issue; it’s a Google issue.

Of course, having money for new equipment is always a matter, but in the past 10 years, the importance of it is being taken over by this small little thing we call — choice.

Every good retailer who operates in a physical store knows that giving a customer too many choices will just confuse him/her and lead to a choice overload and consequently to indecisiveness. …

And why even their good genes cannot protect them

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Since their mainstream appearance in the 1970s, genes have been blamed for virtually everything: Our inherited musical ear, our beautiful and not so beautiful body features, and especially our illnesses — all products of our genetic code, a “predetermined” life controlled by this invisible hand.

It took only a few years to convince people that they are not in charge of their destiny anymore. Bad hair, bad teeth, great eyes, perfect cheek — you have it or you don’t. …

This is what my 22-year business experience has taught me

You think 17 minutes is a long reading time? This article could help gain back years of your life. A 22-year experience of business relationships revealed to me: Choosing the right people is paramount to any business, spotting the wrong ones, even more so. Neglecting that may cost you everything — from health to career.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

The idea behind a partnership is simple: Let each of us do what we do best, and as a result achieve more than we would have done on our own. …

They are more common than you think

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Karla Hernandez on Unsplash

Let’s get this out of the way first: Mental illness is a term used for a wide range of conditions that include various mental health disorders. This article addresses only one section of it: The personality disorders. Any reference made to mental illness refers to the personality disorders only and is used synonymously to signal the seriousness of this condition.

Let’s be honest, it happens quite often that you think: “this person is sick”. But you don’t mean it. …

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Alex Block on Unsplash

You owe the world everything

Before hanging up on me — think about it.

The roof on your head, the food in your mouth, the clothes on your body — all of that exists because of other people. You think you earned it through going to work every day? But even your workplace was created by someone else. You're a business owner? Your business would not exist if there were no customers or buyers to serve. The hardest work in the world is worthless without other people.

You think you’re a gifted musician? Some kind of other artist? Most likely someone in your family was too. …

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Isabell Winter on Unsplash

Then what is it?

The Tao Te Ching states: “The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.“

The same applies to meditation. The mediation that can be explained is not meditation. It sounds confusing, but it isn’t. Take another example. Kissing. Try to explain what kissing is like to someone who never did it. The other person is madly in love, but has never kissed anyone in that way. How would you explain the experience?

All you can do is drawing comparisons to other similar experiences. But is it similar to kissing?

What you’re left with is a vague description: It may be wet, and warm on your lips, with a slight pressure, but not too strong. …


Alen M. Vukelić

I write about the resistance to change, the unwillingness to take risks, and paralysis of indecision — only the good stuff.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store